Over the years, when asking my clients for feedback, they’ve often shared that they, “just feel better.”
I used to feel disappointed by this feedback. Being so good at being hard on myself, I would look at that feedback with glass-half-empty glasses and create a whole concoction of stories so I would feel like a rubbish coach:
They can’t think of anything specific to say
The coaching wasn’t useful
Nothing has changed for them
They’re just being nice
Other coaches get really specific feedback from their clients
I’m not making a difference
Many times I’ve considered walking away from coaching because the negative voices in my head felt like too much of a heavy burden to bear.
Lately, however, I’ve been loosening the grip that hard-on-myself thinking has had on me. I’ve brought more loving kindness and compassion into my relationship with myself. I’ve left my addiction to suffering behind and am able to find more joyful moments, daily, as a consequence.
One example of this perspective shift in action was in a recent coaching session with a client. They said:
“Thank you so much for the sessions. I can’t tell you what a difference they’re making. I just feel…better. I don’t know how else to describe it. I just feel better in my own skin.”
As I listened to them, my heart got really full. I realised the beauty of what they were describing. I feel I was finally able to hear what my clients had been trying to tell me all along.
That there is, in fact, no greater feedback than feeling more at home in your own skin.
As the penny dropped, I realised that this is how true transformation has been for me in my own life. Hard to pin-point and describe. Slow, iterative and subtle.
We are continually moving forwards in our lives, but occasionally we need to look back in order to realise how far we’ve come.
If you want to feel ‘better’, more at home in your own skin, good. I’m glad you want that for yourself. I want that for you too. And I have a whole range of ways I can help.